Hi Men,
Hi you! Yes YOU! Hi.
Yes, I get it, you would never THINK of harassing me.
Not ALL men harass.
And when I say Men catcall me, follow me in stores and ask to touch my boobs it makes you really unhappy.
Because you would NEVER do that to me.
And you want me to say some men.
Or too many men.
Good. I said it.
Because YOU don’t want to be responsible for THEIR behavior.
But guess what.
You are.
When I complain about the men (plural) who harm me on a regular basis, know who I’m NOT talking to?
The men who harass me.
They do not care what I have to say.
I’m talking to you not all men. YOU.
When you see a young woman getting catcalls, do you tell the guy to knock it off?
Or do you shake your head and say to yourself,
“Glad I’m not that guy”
But THAT guy? That guy thinks you approve and endorse.
And when you insist I put modifiers on the plural it is not in the pursuit of accuracy, it is in the pursuit of absolving you of responsibility. Of making it about THOSE guys and not you.
And guess what Not All Man does next?
Nothing.
I pointed out something that everyone knows.
Some guys harass women.
But it’s not a PROBLEM.
Them ladies are blowing it out of proportion and exaggerating.
Except.
We’re not.
If you are in the grocery store and you see a woman yelling at a man to leave her alone, then do you step up and say leave her alone?
Or do you laugh/ stay silent when he calls her a bitch.
And if you ARE the rare man that intervenes? I’m NOT talking to you.
You may leave.
If you’re the guy who stands and with his silence/laughter gives that man the approval and camaraderie he needs?
Guess what?
YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.
You are why this is a normal part of my everyday.
You are why my son is scared every time we take a walk.
I am not gonna reach THAT guy.
And I’m not going to alter my speech to make it less of a problem than it is.
To make you comfortable.
Because the PROBLEM is you’re too comfortable.
Hi you! Yes YOU! Hi.
Yes, I get it, you would never THINK of harassing me.
Not ALL men harass.
And when I say Men catcall me, follow me in stores and ask to touch my boobs it makes you really unhappy.
Because you would NEVER do that to me.
And you want me to say some men.
Or too many men.
Good. I said it.
Because YOU don’t want to be responsible for THEIR behavior.
But guess what.
You are.
When I complain about the men (plural) who harm me on a regular basis, know who I’m NOT talking to?
The men who harass me.
They do not care what I have to say.
I’m talking to you not all men. YOU.
When you see a young woman getting catcalls, do you tell the guy to knock it off?
Or do you shake your head and say to yourself,
“Glad I’m not that guy”
But THAT guy? That guy thinks you approve and endorse.
And when you insist I put modifiers on the plural it is not in the pursuit of accuracy, it is in the pursuit of absolving you of responsibility. Of making it about THOSE guys and not you.
And guess what Not All Man does next?
Nothing.
I pointed out something that everyone knows.
Some guys harass women.
But it’s not a PROBLEM.
Them ladies are blowing it out of proportion and exaggerating.
Except.
We’re not.
If you are in the grocery store and you see a woman yelling at a man to leave her alone, then do you step up and say leave her alone?
Or do you laugh/ stay silent when he calls her a bitch.
And if you ARE the rare man that intervenes? I’m NOT talking to you.
You may leave.
If you’re the guy who stands and with his silence/laughter gives that man the approval and camaraderie he needs?
Guess what?
YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.
You are why this is a normal part of my everyday.
You are why my son is scared every time we take a walk.
I am not gonna reach THAT guy.
And I’m not going to alter my speech to make it less of a problem than it is.
To make you comfortable.
Because the PROBLEM is you’re too comfortable.
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